280 Corny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Nobody laughs harder at a bad joke than the person telling it. That’s the whole beauty of corny jokes. They’re not trying to be cool, they’re not trying to impress anyone. They just want to make you groan, snort, or spit out your coffee, and they do it every single time. Whether you need something to break the ice at a party, keep the kids busy on a road trip, or just text a friend who could use a laugh right now, this collection of 280 corny jokes has exactly what you need.

We’ve sorted them into themed groups so you can find exactly what you need, fast. Let’s get into it.

1. Corny Jokes About Food and Drinks

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Food jokes are some of the most shareable corny jokes out there. There’s just something universally funny about a good carrot or cheese pun. These are perfect for lunchboxes, dinner conversation, or texting your foodie friend.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
3. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
4. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
6. What do you call a pea that’s always late? A tardy legume.
7. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mother was a wafer so long.
8. What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
9. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
10. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
11. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
12. What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piZZZZZa.
13. Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
14. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
15. Why did the baker stop making donuts? He was tired of the hole business.
16. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
17. Why does the mushroom always get invited to parties? Because he’s a fun-gi.
18. What do elves eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
19. Why did the bread break up with the butter? It felt too spread out.
20. What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? An astronut.
21. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
22. What do you call a stolen avocado? Guac and roll.
23. Why did the chef get arrested? He was caught beating an egg.
24. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
25. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
26. What did the lettuce say to the celery? Quit stalking me.
27. Why did the pie go to a dentist? It needed a filling.
28. What do you call a fish without eyes? A fsh.
29. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the ranch dressing.
30. What did one plate say to the other? Dinner’s on me.
31. Why can’t you trust a burger? They always have beef with everyone.
32. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
33. Why did the orange juice have a bad day? Someone squeezed it too hard.
34. What do you call an almond in a fancy restaurant? A sophisticated nut.
35. Why did the bread go to therapy? It had too many loafs to deal with.
36. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King Cod.
37. Why did the chef add extra salt? Just for seasoning.
38. What do you call a corn who tells jokes? A pop corn.
39. Why did the sugar packet go to school? It wanted to get a little sweeter.
40. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.

2. Corny Animal Jokes That Everyone Will Love

Animals and corny jokes go together like peanut butter and jelly. Kids love them, adults secretly love them, and they’re a reliable crowd-pleaser at any age. If you enjoy these, you might also appreciate the hilarious monkey puns and funny animal wordplay we’ve collected separately.

41. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
42. Why don’t elephants use computers? Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
43. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
44. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
45. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
46. Why did the dog sit in the shade? It didn’t want to be a hot dog.
47. What do you call a fish that plays guitar? A bass player.
48. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
49. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
50. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
51. What do you call a bear with no ears? B.
52. Why don’t sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
53. What do you call a crocodile who wears a vest? An investiGator.
54. Why did the frog take the bus? His car got toad.
55. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
56. Why don’t oysters share? Because they’re shellfish.
57. What do you call a duck that steals? A robber ducky.
58. Why did the owl invite his friends over? He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
59. What do you call a lazy cat? A slow puss.
60. Why did the horse go behind the tree? To change his stable condition.
61. What do you call a bee who can’t make up his mind? A maybe.
62. Why did the lobster blush? Because the seaweed.
63. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
64. Why did the rabbit go to the barber? To get a hare-cut.
65. What do you call a gorilla with bananas in its ears? Anything you want, it can’t hear you.
66. Why do fish swim in salt water? Pepper makes them sneeze.
67. What do you call a cat that gets everything it wants? Purrr-suasive.
68. Why did the eagle become a doctor? For the birds-eye view.
69. What do you call two birds in love? Tweet-hearts.
70. Why don’t penguins like rock music? They prefer something more ice-cool.
71. What do you call a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
72. Why did the ant walk on the sugar? He wanted to make a sweet trail.
73. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.
74. Why do dogs run in circles? Because it’s too hard to run in squares.
75. What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent.
76. Why did the spider stay on the computer all day? It was looking for a website.
77. What do you call a dog in the winter? A chilly dog.
78. Why did the jellyfish join a band? It had great rhythm.
79. What do you call a fish who never stops talking? A blabber-mouth bass.
80. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.

3. School and Work Corny Jokes

Whether you’re cracking up a classroom or surviving Monday morning at the office, these corny jokes about school and work never get old. Share one of these best riddles for kids at the next family gathering too, because the giggles are contagious.

81. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
82. What do you call a teacher who never frowns? A ruler of good moods.
83. Why did the math book look so sad? It had too many problems.
84. What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless.
85. Why did the clock get detention? It kept tocking in class.
86. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
87. Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
88. What do you call a sleeping student? A slow learner.
89. Why do teachers carry a red pen? In case they need to draw blood.
90. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
91. Why can’t a bicycle stand on its own? Because it’s two-tired.
92. What do you call a worker who hates Mondays? Normal.
93. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
94. What do you call an accountant without a calculator? Hopeless.
95. Why did the janitor quit his job? Because the floors swept him off his feet.
96. What do you call a manager who loves math? A division head.
97. Why did the calendar go to therapy? It had too many dates to keep.
98. What do you call a teacher who’s always cold? A cool teacher.
99. Why did the art teacher get fired? She couldn’t draw a salary.
100. What do you call a detective who solves cases from bed? An undercover agent.
101. Why did the file cabinet break up with the stapler? It had too many attachments.
102. What do you call a meeting with zero agenda? A normal meeting.
103. Why did the office chair break up with the desk? It was tired of being sat on.
104. What do you call a math teacher who can’t add? A subtraction specialist.
105. Why was the broom late to work? It overswept.
106. What do you call a student who gets an A on everything? Made up.
107. Why did the pen break up with the paper? Too many tearful goodbyes.
108. What do you call a nervous electrician? A wire mess.
109. Why did the teacher go to the beach? To test the water.
110. What do you call a lazy employee? A professional delegator.

4. Corny Knock-Knock Jokes to Share with Anyone

A great knock-knock joke is a classic. Corny? Absolutely. Fun? One hundred percent. These are the kind of jokes that work at birthday parties, holiday dinners, and any moment you need to make someone smile.

111. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
112. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No silly, cow says moo!
113. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh… MOO!
114. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a joke.
115. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nobel. Nobel who? Nobel, that’s why I knocked.
116. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!
117. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a spider!
118. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I miss you.
119. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, it’s cold outside!
120. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the police, open up!
121. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cargo. Cargo who? Car go beep beep.
122. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe help me with my homework?
123. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase, you load the car.
124. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to know!
125. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
126. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? No, you’re a poo!
127. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Woo. Woo who? Don’t get too excited, it’s just a joke.
128. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anybody want to let me in?
129. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!
130. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome!
131. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
132. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes me, who are you?
133. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting starfish. Interrupting starfish wh… (spread fingers over their face).
134. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O!
135. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you! Now hand over the cash.
136. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (say it out loud, you’ll get it).
137. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you again!
138. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nana. Nana who? Nana your business.
139. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer peanuts.
140. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are?

5. Corny Science and Nature Jokes

Science jokes are secretly the corniest jokes of all, and we mean that in the best way. If you enjoy wordplay that makes your brain do a little double take, these are going to be your favorites. For even more brain-tickling content, check out these tricky riddles with answers that pair perfectly with this kind of humor.

141. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
142. What did the DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make me look fat?
143. Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
144. What do you call a bear caught in the rain? A drizzly bear.
145. Why did the moon skip dinner? Because it was already full.
146. What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
147. Why did the sun go to school? To get a little brighter.
148. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdomin-able snowman.
149. Why did the geologist go on vacation? He needed a little time off from all the pressure.
150. What do you call a cloud that’s always angry? A thunderhead.
151. Why did the river get detention? It kept going downstream of the rules.
152. What do you call a scientist who studies wind? A breeze-ologist.
153. Why did the volcano get a promotion? It always rose to the top.
154. What do you call a tree that doesn’t know its own name? Stumped.
155. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with.
156. What do you call a lazy rock? A stone-cold couch potato.
157. Why did the lightning bolt break up with the thunder? It was too loud of a relationship.
158. What do you call a physicist’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal.
159. Why did the planet go to therapy? It had too many issues orbiting it.
160. What do you call a neutron who can’t afford things? A no-charge.
161. Why did the biologist look forward to Monday? It was cellebration day.
162. What do you call a plant that talks back? A sass-afras.
163. Why did the comet get a speeding ticket? It was moving at astronomical speed.
164. What do you call a scientist who studies laughter? A humerus-ologist.
165. Why did the earthquake get nervous? Because the ground beneath it was shaky.
166. What do you call a nervous astronomy student? Someone with a lot on his plate-et.
167. Why did the weather forecaster get sent to his room? He made too many poor forecasts.
168. What do you call water that refuses to freeze? Too cool for ice.
169. Why did the ocean turn down the job offer? The pay was too current.
170. What do you call a planet that tells bad jokes? Saturn, because it has a great ring to it.

6. Corny Jokes for Kids That Adults Will Love Too

These are the sweet spot, the jokes that make a seven-year-old collapse with giggles and make a grown adult snort at the dinner table. Simple, clean, and properly corny. If your family enjoys wordplay like this, the rhyming riddles for all ages on our site are another great way to keep the laughs going.

171. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was already stuffed.
172. What do you call a fairy that hasn’t showered? Stinker Bell.
173. Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
174. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
175. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
176. What do you call a ghost who tells lies? A boo-liar.
177. Why did the little boy throw his toast out the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
178. What do you call a sleeping T-Rex? A dino-snore.
179. Why did the kid put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
180. What do you call a fish who tells jokes? A clown fish.
181. Why did the balloon go near the needle? Because it wanted to pop its bubble.
182. What do you call a snowman’s dog? A slush puppy.
183. Why did the teddy bear never eat her birthday cake? She was already stuffed.
184. What do you call a kite on a windy day? Happy.
185. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
186. What do you call a cow who just had a baby? De-calf-inated.
187. Why did the kid bring a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept.
188. What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.
189. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He heard high school was hard to get into.
190. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.
191. Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
192. What do you call a happy cowboy? Jolly Rancher.
193. Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
194. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
195. Why did the pillow go to the doctor? It was feeling flat.
196. What do you call two witches who share a broom? Broom-mates.
197. Why do bees hum? Because they forgot the words.
198. What do you call a snowman who can do math? An ice-culator.
199. Why did the banana put on sunscreen? So it wouldn’t peel.
200. What do you call a man lying on your doorstep? Matt.

7. Corny Jokes About Everyday Life

Sometimes the funniest material is just everyday stuff. Traffic, chores, Monday mornings, bad Wi-Fi. These corny jokes tap right into the small frustrations of life and turn them into something worth laughing about. And if you’re in the mood for some wordplay that goes a little deeper, the dinosaur puns that’ll make you roar are a seriously fun read.

201. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.
202. What do you call a person standing in the middle of traffic? An island.
203. Why did the scarecrow get a raise? He was outstanding in his field.
204. What do you call a group of whales singing together? An orca-stra.
205. Why did the phone go to the doctor? It had too many dropped calls.
206. What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
207. Why did the clock break up with the calendar? Their days were numbered.
208. What do you call a door that sings? Adele. (A-door-able.)
209. Why did the gym close? It just didn’t work out.
210. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A shamrock.
211. Why did the broom win the election? It swept the competition.
212. What do you call a man who can’t stop buying rugs? A carpet addict.
213. Why did the librarian slip on the floor? She was in the non-friction section.
214. What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A slipper.
215. Why did the lamp go out? It had no bright ideas.
216. What do you call a snowflake that works at a bank? A cold asset.
217. Why did the baker go to work early? He had a lot of dough to handle.
218. What do you call a dishonest ruler? A foot liar.
219. Why did the man carry an umbrella? Because the umbrella couldn’t walk on its own.
220. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.
221. Why did the mailman quit? Too many letters from his ex.
222. What do you call a man who tells jokes while cooking? A comedi-chef.
223. Why did the couch break up with the TV? It was tired of being watched.
224. What do you call a window that loves gossip? A pane in the glass.
225. Why did the garbage bag go to therapy? It had a lot to let go of.
226. What do you call a nose that won’t stop running? A leaky faucet.
227. Why did the stoplight turn red? You’d change color too if you had to change in front of everyone.
228. What do you call a Tuesday with no plans? Bliss.
229. Why did the alarm clock win a prize? For going off without a hitch.
230. What do you call a hat that can do math? A thinking cap.

8. The Very Best Short Corny Jokes (One-Liners and Quick Hits)

These are the ones you pull out when you’ve got about four seconds to make someone laugh. Short, sharp, and delightfully groan-worthy. These corny jokes are perfect for a text message, a sticky note, or just blurting out in the middle of silence to see what happens.

231. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
232. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
233. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
234. I used to hate facial hair, but it’s growing on me.
235. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
236. I tried to write a joke about paper, but it was tearable.
237. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
238. The other day I told a good joke about a construction site. I’m still working on it.
239. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
240. Two satellites got married. The wedding was out of this world.
241. I used to work at a shoe recycling factory. It was sole-destroying.
242. I went to a really emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
243. My wife thinks I’m too nosy. At least, that’s what she keeps writing in her diary.
244. I’m terrified of elevators. I’m taking steps to avoid them.
245. I asked the librarian if the library had books about paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
246. I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
247. I have a joke about unemployment. It just isn’t working.
248. My ceiling isn’t the best ceiling in the world, but it’s up there.
249. I told a joke about a knife. It was pretty sharp.
250. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satis-factory.
251. I have an addiction to cheddar cheese. But it’s only mild.
252. Someone complimented my parking. They left a note saying “Parking fine.”
253. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
254. I burned 2000 calories today. Never leave brownies in the oven unattended.
255. I couldn’t figure out how lightning works. Then it struck me.
256. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
257. The man who invented the knock-knock joke should get a no-bell prize.
258. I told my friend he should embrace his mistakes. He gave me a hug.
259. I went to a bookstore and asked where the self-help section was. The cashier said, “If I told you, it would defeat the purpose.”
260. Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were warm, it would be justwater.
261. I know a lot of jokes about retired people. None of them work.
262. I asked my dog what two minus two was. He said nothing.
263. I gave all my dead batteries away today. Free of charge.
264. Why do I drink coffee before work? To espresso myself.
265. I have a joke about procrastination. I’ll tell it later.
266. My wife accused me of having no sense of direction. I said, “Oh yeah? Well right back at you.”
267. I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice.
268. I told a horse joke. It was a little hoarse.
269. I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
270. I had a joke about a wall. I’m still getting over it.
271. My calendar only has one day on it. Must be a day planner.
272. I’m writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.
273. I tried to make a belt out of watches. What a waist of time.
274. The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
275. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
276. I’m friends with all electricians. We have good connections.
277. A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
278. I used to hate geometry. But I came around.
279. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
280. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

Conclusion

There you go: 280 corny jokes to keep you and the people around you laughing for a long time. The beautiful thing about corny humor is that it’s never truly awful, it’s just wonderfully, cheerfully bad. That’s the whole point. These jokes don’t try to be clever or edgy. They just want to make you smile, and honestly? That’s kind of lovely.

Share a few with your kids, send one to a friend who needs a pick-me-up, or just memorize your favorite three and wait for the perfect moment to drop them. You’ll get a groan, a laugh, or both, and either way, you’ve done your job.